Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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