I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
