Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
