so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ugly people sure do ruin things
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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