Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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