I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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