also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
