We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
