dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
