I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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