You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
