and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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