Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
