3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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