So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
