i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
