you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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