just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
