I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
