u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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