On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
