Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize