My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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