I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
