dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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