Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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