Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

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(305): View more from Florida

Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

(786): View more from Florida

How high are you right now..

(305): View more from Florida

I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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(438): View more from Quebec

My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?

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(330): View more from Ohio

He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them

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(281): View more from Texas

Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.

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