so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
