yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
