I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
