And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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