Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
