worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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