how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
