ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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