I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
