I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
