Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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