sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize