I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish my penis had an off switch
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
