Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
please don't ironically join a cult
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