Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
