he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
