the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
