So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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