WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i now understand why vodka
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
