if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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