I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
