Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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