either way he was missing a nipple.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
