she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
