idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I smell stomach acid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
