I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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