why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Four minutes until I can fart!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
