Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
