if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
