do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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