physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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