some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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