so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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