O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
